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Part 1. How to use 3 Big Secrets for Attracting People.
What is the secret of an attractive personality? We have all known them, those people who just seem to attract customers and friends. We say that people are drawn to such a personality, or "he just draws people to him". Such phrases are very descriptive, for you can't force people to like you, but you can draw them to you if you supply food to feed three basic human hungers.
The genuinely "nice guy" whom everybody avoids.
Friendship doesn't just happen. We choose our friends. And either consciously or unconsciously, we choose them on the basis of need and hunger. Sam Sweettalk may be the nicest, sweetest, most considerate man you have ever met in your whole life, yet you may not choose Sam for a personal friend for the simple reason that Sam does not offer any food to feed your hungers. In fact, you might find yourself uncomfortable in Sam's presence. All the goodness that is oozing out of him all the time may only make you feel guilty and inferior. So although Sam is a nice guy, you avoid him like the plague.
Here are 3 basic hungers that all normal human beings have. You might call this the "Triple-A" Technique for winning friends. For when you use these 3 "A's", with an understanding of what is behind them, you'll find more and more people automatically warming up to you.
Accept people as they are. Allow them to be themselves. Don't insist on anyone being perfect before you can like him. Don't fashion a moral strait jacket and expect others to wear it in order to gain your acceptance. Above all don't bargain for acceptance. Don't say in substance, "I'll accept you if you'll do this or that, or change your ways to suit me."
Look for something to approve in the other person. It may be something small or insignificant. But let the other person know you approve that, and the number of things you can sincerely approve of will begin to grow. When the other person gets a taste of your genuine approval, he will being to change his behavior so that he will be approved for other things.
To appreciate means to raise in value, as opposed to depreciate, which means to lower in value. Let other people know that you value them. Treat other people as if they were valuable to you. Don't keep them waiting. Thank them. Give them "special", individual treatment.
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