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Taking a brass tacks approach to communication, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People explains how to interact with others as they really are, not as you would like them to be. The goal is to get what you want from them successfully – be it cooperation, goodwill, love or security.
Les Giblin, a recognized expert in the field of human relations, has devised a method for dealing with people that can be used when relating with anyone – parents, teachers, bosses, employees, friends, acquaintances, even strangers. Giblin shows step by step how to get what you want at any time and in ways that leave you feeling good about yourself. Moreover, the people who have given you want you want wind up feeling good about themselves, too. The result? Nobody gets shortchanged. It’s a win-win situation. Each chapter includes a handy summary, so there’s absolutely no chance of missing the book’s key points. You can also use these recaps to refresh your memory after you’ve finished the book. Instead of feeling miserable about your interpersonal skills, read this best-selling guide and learn to succeed with people in every area of your life. |
Table of Contents
1. Your Key To Success And Happiness
2. How To Use The Basic Secret For Influencing Others
3. How To Cash In On Your Hidden Assets
4. How To Control The Actions And Attitudes Of Others
5. How You Can Create A Good Impression On Others
6. How To Use Three Big Secrets For Attracting People
7. How To Make The Other Person Feel Friendly - Instantly
8. How You Can Develop Skill In Using Words
9. How To Use The Technique That A Supreme Court Justice Called "White Magic"
10. How To Get Others To See Things Your Way Quickly
11. How To Get 100% Cooperation And Increase Your Brain Power
12. How To Use Your Miracle Power In Human Relations
13. How To Criticize Others Without Offending Them
14. A simple, Effective Plan Of Action That Will Bring You Success And Happiness
2. How To Use The Basic Secret For Influencing Others
3. How To Cash In On Your Hidden Assets
4. How To Control The Actions And Attitudes Of Others
5. How You Can Create A Good Impression On Others
6. How To Use Three Big Secrets For Attracting People
7. How To Make The Other Person Feel Friendly - Instantly
8. How You Can Develop Skill In Using Words
9. How To Use The Technique That A Supreme Court Justice Called "White Magic"
10. How To Get Others To See Things Your Way Quickly
11. How To Get 100% Cooperation And Increase Your Brain Power
12. How To Use Your Miracle Power In Human Relations
13. How To Criticize Others Without Offending Them
14. A simple, Effective Plan Of Action That Will Bring You Success And Happiness
Excerpt
Chapter 1
Your Key To Success And Happiness
All of us want two things out of life: Success and Happiness.
All of us are different. Your idea of success may be different from mine. But there is one Big Factor which all of us must learn to deal with if we are to be successful or happy. The Big Factor is the same whether you are a lawyer, doctor, businessman, salesman, parent, sales clerk, housewife, or what-not. The one common denominator to all success and happiness is other people.Various scientific studies have proven that if you learn how to deal with other people, you will have gone about 85 percent of the way down the road to success in any business, occupation, or profession, and about 99 percent of the way down the road to personal happiness.
Merely getting along isn’t the answer
Merely learning how to get along with people is no guarantee of either success or happiness. The Caspar Milquetoasts in life have learned a way to get along with people to avoid trouble. The timid, retiring, doormat type of person has learned one way to “get along with people,” i.e., to simply let them walk over him. On the other extreme, the tyrannical, dictator-like type of person also has worked out a way to “get along with people”: he simply beats down all opposition, makes a doormat of them, and proceeds to walk over them. We don’t need any more books on how to get along with people, for each of us already has his private system all worked out. Even the neurotic has his own special way of doing this, and psychologists tell us that neurosis itself can be defined as a pattern of responses which the neurotic has worked out for getting along with people.What counts is a way to get along with people, or deal with people, that will bring us personal satisfaction and at the same time not trample on the egos of those we deal with. Human relations is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our egos and their egos remain intact. And this is the only method of getting along with people that ever brings any real success or any real satisfaction.
The reason 90 percent of people fail in life
The Carnegie Institute of Technology analyzed the records of 10,000 persons, and arrived at the conclusion that 15 percent of success is due to technical training, to brains and skill on the job, and 85 percent of success is due to personality factors, to the ability to deal with people successfully! When the Bureau of Vocational Guidance at Harvard University made a study of thousands of men and women who had been fired, they found that for every one person who lost his job for failure to do the work, two persons lost their jobs for failure to deal successfully with people. The percentage ran even higher in a study reported by Dr. Albert Edward Wiggam, in his syndicated column, “Let’s Explore Your Mind.” Out of 4,000 persons who lost their jobs in one year, only 10 percent or 400 lost out because they could not do the work. Ninety percent, or 3,600 of them, lost out because they had not developed the personality for successfully dealing with other people!
Where success and happiness come from
Look around you. Are the most successful people you know those with the most brains, the most skill? Are the people who are the happiest and get the most fun out of life so much smarter than the other people you know? If you will stop and think a minute, the chances are that you will say that the people you know who are the most successful, and enjoy life the most, are those who “have a way” with other people.
Your personality problems are your problems with other people
There are millions of people today who are self-conscious, shy, timid, ill-at-ease in social situations, who feel inferior and never realize that their real problem is a human relations problem. It never seems to get across to them that their failure as a personality is really a failure in learning to deal successfully with other people.T here are almost as many who, at least on the surface, seem to be the very opposite of the shy, retiring type. They appear to be self-assured. They are “bossy” and dominate any social group they are in, whether it is the home, the office, or the club. Yet they too realize that something is missing. They wonder why their employees or their families do not appreciate them. They wonder why other people don’t cooperate more willingly, why it is necessary to continually force people into line. And most of all, they realize in their more candid moments that the people they are most anxious to impress never really give them the approval and acceptance that they crave. They attempt to force cooperation, to force loyalty and friendship, to force people to produce for them, but the one thing they cannot force is the thing they want the most. They cannot force other people to like them, and they never really get what they want because they have never mastered the art of dealing with other people. Bonaro Overstreet, in her book Understanding Fear in Ourselves and Others, says that disruptive emotional problems always have their root in our relations with other people. “The human being experiences fear when his car skids on an icy highway; but such fear does not distort his personality. He experiences pain when he drops a hammer on his foot; but such pain does not foster a brooding hostility…. The one loss he cannot tolerate and remain in emotional health is loss of goodwill between himself and his fellow humans.”
Horse-and-buggy methods won’t work in an atomic age
There might have been a time in past history when a prominent industrialist could say .... Read the rest of this chapter
Reviews
Practical approaches that can help a reader from any generation become a confidence people person.
- Doug Staneart
Author of Fearless Presentations and former CEO of the leader's institute
Easily the best book on interpersonal communication
This is the best book I have ever read on interpersonal communications. I have read dozens of the supposedly top books on the subject and this book stands above them all. Every paragraph has big value that one can instantly use.
- Amazon Reviewer
A genuine classic! Very helpful indeed!
Not after I finished it and started to write the review I didn't realize this book was first published in 1956. That means two things. First, human nature doesn't change. Second, it's so good that it can stand the test of time and become a classic.
- Amazon Reviewer
- Doug Staneart
Author of Fearless Presentations and former CEO of the leader's institute
Easily the best book on interpersonal communication
This is the best book I have ever read on interpersonal communications. I have read dozens of the supposedly top books on the subject and this book stands above them all. Every paragraph has big value that one can instantly use.
- Amazon Reviewer
A genuine classic! Very helpful indeed!
Not after I finished it and started to write the review I didn't realize this book was first published in 1956. That means two things. First, human nature doesn't change. Second, it's so good that it can stand the test of time and become a classic.
- Amazon Reviewer
